Today I am going to share a story about my friend who turned on many a light within me from the moment I met him. We will call him the Unicorn. He is one of the first healers I can remember encountering. I was lucky enough to be in a position to recognize him. At the time, I was a lost 21-year old, feeling like a loser; not entirely happy with what I was doing in life. Questioning my purpose like I feel most of us do at that age. We met at a bar and I would credit him as the catalyst of my spiritual growth. We can literally talk about anything to each other, share our most genuine selves and know we are in a safe haven free of rejection, judgment or persecution. He’s rare almost mystical, like a Unicorn.
The Unicorn is quite possibly one of the top five coolest characters I have met in my life. A genuine spirit at his core he just wants the best for everyone and one love. I can dig his philosophy. Problem is he too suffers from the “Human Factor,” while I truly believe his intentions are pure, they don’t always play out as intended, but even if that is the case I still love the guy for always being his awesome self even if others struggle to understand him. The respect I have for him is pretty unconditional.
I feel at times that we are too similar in our thought process, making us mirror images of each other.
Let me tell you a little about the Unicorn, he is deeply rooted in his faith, like almost to a fault. Which was really strange for me because I am not a deeply religious person but what he was saying made sense to me. He is like this for a reason though; he, like I, suffer from severe bouts of depression. He is plagued by the constant search for his higher calling, he is never satisfied with how he is contributing to the universe. He started seeking knowledge and stumbled upon his faith and the strength in discipline. Talks about discipline and what it really means spoke to the Unicorn. Being disciplined doesn’t make you a square, you are simply taking responsibility for yourself and committing to showing up for yourself everyday no matter what. That is exactly what the Unicorn does. He has decided to chase his dreams, live in discipline and be relentless in the pursuit of healing others through the teachings of his faith and what he has learned through discipline.
Discipline to him means planning out every second of his day being productive not just busy. Staying busy allows space for those nasty thoughts to creep back in, being productive means you are working towards something that has a meaning or purpose for you. It can be as simple as investing time in your body by planning and cooking your meals, or working out, or setting time aside to research or work on something that actually interests you. He is being disciplined in that way. He is not laying around letting his depression have it’s way with him. He is being productive with his time which in return is giving him a sense of pride and belief in himself.
No matter how quirky or rigid his routine may seem to others, to me that is some pretty powerful shit. Maybe I am biased because I too have had to face down my demons and still run from them. Maybe I wish in a sense that I was as relentless as he is. To be able to get up every morning and vow to make this day your bitch day in and day out, while every cell in your body is screaming at you to stay in bed and do nothing. While your own brain is betraying you, saying you aren’t worth shit. That is true strength in my book. I wish to apply more of the Unicorn’s philosophy to my life. Living in discipline, mastering my thoughts, mastering my life.
I can no longer afford to lose control over my thoughts. I am consciously choosing to apply to my own life what the Unicorn has been so gracious to share. There is no other choice. I have to survive.